Unsaid, Unheard
by deathcabforkira
Summary: 'Tick. Tick. Tick.' Originally intended to be a one-shot, I decided to make it a bit longer. Rated T for later chapters/implied BBxL/somewhat violent moments.
1. L Is For Lonely

**A/N: This fic will be slightly AU, in that BB remains alive for a bit longer than he does in the anime.**

**Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Ohba and Obata, not me.**

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**Chapter 1: L Is For Lonely**

The only sound was the redundant ticking of the clock mounted on the far wall

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

However monotonous it may have been, L found it strangely comforting. In a world where everything was constantly changing, at least some things - like the clock's incessant ticking - would always be the same.

He had gone about the day as usual, and eventually had decided to retire to his bedroom. It was a vain effort, though, and he knew it. Besides having insomnia, the cup of coffee-moistened sugar he had downed only a short while ago certainly did not help. Now, he lay curled up beneath a mountain of sheets. He looked more like a ghost than an actual person; a ghost confined in a white-walled room. His wild, dark hair made his ivory skin seem as white as the sheets and pillows that were piled around him; his dead-looking dark-rimmed eyes were fixed on his shirt, which lay in a crumpled heap on the other side of the room. He had peeled it off before crawling into bed and left it there.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

His mind was restless, yet empty at the same time. He wished for something that would somehow lull his racing mind to sleep at last. He wished for morning to come, knowing that sleeping was nothing more than a fruitless effort. His thoughts drifted to his latest case, and all the danger involved with it. Any one of those men with whom he was working could be Kira…but if Kira was amongst them, why hadn't he made a move yet? All the death, all the confusion,…every day could easily be his last, and he knew it. But still he was determined not to lose to Kira. Not now, not ever.

His bony body tensed as cold shivers ran down his spine. He sank further down into the comfort of the blankets in an attempt to warm himself. It was times like these when the detective had a difficult time shoving his emotions away, which he found much easier to do if he was busy with something. He tried his best, but even the world's greatest detective could not deny the fact that he was lonely. There, huddled beneath quite a few blanket and sheets, he reluctantly admitted how much he longed for warmth and comfort and human affection. Those things, however, were things he knew he could probably never have. A life of solitude was the kind of life which he had to lead, largely for his own protection. Also, emotions could get in the way and cloud his judgment, should he ever find himself attracted to someone. And he certainly did not want something like that to be the cause of him wrongly judging anyone; wrongful judgment, after all, could cost him anything - even something so valuable as his life.

_Tick. Tick. Tick_.

He threw back the blankets and slid out of bed, the fuzzy carpet tickling his bare feet as he slowly shuffled out of his bedroom, clad in only his jeans, seeing as he had left the shirt where it was. The entire apartment was as still as death itself, until he got to the kitchen. There was another clock in the kitchen, its ticking breaking the silence - much to his relief. He opened a cabinet and moved its contents until he found a box of sugar cubes, which he opened and proceeded to dump its contents onto the table. One by one, he stacked the sugar cubes. One on top of the others, the tower growing higher and higher. He tried to calm his thoughts as he stacked the. It felt oddly satisfying, being able to control _something_. However, his mind soon wandered off yet again. He thought back to his younger days, his days at Wammy's. Near, Matt, Mello - he only hoped that everyone was doing well. He thought of past cases, one of which would always stick out above all to him; The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. To think that he and BB had once been extremely close friends -

The tower wobbled a bit, then collapsed. Sugar cubes scattered all over the table. He let out a frustrated sigh and set up the tower, stacking one cube, then another on top of that.

"Beyond Birthday…." He ran his tongue over dry lips and stacked a fourth sugar cube. He had visited BB in prison on more than one occasion. It was hard to believe that this 'deranged criminal' had once been his only and closest friend. He began to reach for another sugar cube, but retracted his ghostly-looking, thin fingers. He stood up and watched out a nearby window. The city below was still lit up, with its neon signs and flashing lights, even at three in the morning. The sky was completely black with the exception of a few stars poking through the darkness. L turned back towards the kitchen. It wasn't quite dawn yet.


	2. Waste Away With Me

**A/N: This was originally intended to be a one-shot, but thanks to the encouragement and suggestions of Tkb4, I have decided to continue it. I hope this chapter isn't too confusing for anyone, heh. Enjoy. ~**

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**Chapter 2: Waste Away With Me**

Beyond Birthday pulled frantically at the thin white sheet that entangled his emaciated form. He gripped fistfuls of inky black hair in his bony hands, hard enough to rip it from his scalp. This place was driving him mad.. though they said he was already. White walls, white ceiling, white sheets. It was like a box that closed in just a little more with each passing day, threatening to crush him.

Slowly, he slid from the small bed and began to pace the room for the one-hundredth time that day. A few calloused, silent footsteps across the white tiled floor placed him in front of a mirror. He recalled how, just days before, a balled-up fist had smashed the glass in a fit of rage. (He had been muttering something about L not coming to see him, though the hospital's staff had just dismissed it as nonsense.) There was the satisfying crunch of glass, like a broken bottle beneath car tires, and then there was the welcome sight of crimson running down his pale skin. Now, he grinned at the distorted reflection and gently placed a bony finger against the mirror.

"Hello, Lawli," he purred, tilting his head to admire the face in the mirror. "_My_ Lawli. ~" Here, he closed his eyes and pressed his face to the mirror, enjoying the feeling of the cool glass beneath his pale cheek. "Mm. I missed you."

He began to laugh: a loud, raspy cackle capable of terrifying anyone within earshot. His body shook with pure glee, though he could not quite say why, and he allowed himself to sink lifelessly to the ground. Once the laughter finally subsided, B remained still, gasping for air in an attempt to catch his breath.

"Beyond, I am sorry."

He lifted his head a bit, slowly dragging his bloodshot eyes from the bare feet and baggy jeans, to the white shirt and expressionless face. BB flung himself at the detective, gripping the loose white shirt in his fists and burying his face in the soft, pale neck. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up. He was perfectly content to remain there, drowning himself in the familiar montone voice and the strong scent of candy and strawberries he had missed so much.

"L! Lawli, Lawli, Lawli. You came back for me! I always knew you would." Though his voice never wavered, hot tears steamed down Beyond's face, staining L's shirt as they fell. Hesitantly, the detective brought one hand up to stroke B's inky black hair and lightly placed his free hand on the younger's back.

"Of course I did. I did not lie to you, B." Beyond held tighter to L, as if the man would float away should he let go. There were no more tears now, nothing but soft-spoken words. "I could never lie to you... I love you."

The door to the small, sterile room swung open, interrupting the reunion and revealing two confused-looking men in white coats. Beyond Birthday paid them no mind and huddled back into the imaginary embrace of the only person who still cared for him, the fantasized, monotone 'I love you' still ringing in his lonely mind.


	3. Kiss Yourself Goodnight

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while. I had this all written, but I didn't have a chance to type it up until now. **

**And, thank you to all my faithful reviewers. ~ I love you guys so much. Thank you for keeping me motivated. (:**

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**Chapter 3: Kiss Yourself Goodnight**

Even at this late hour, the city below was so busy and full of life, which was made clear by the neon signs and car headlights, standing out against the darkness like a splash of color against a blank canvas. It had always interested L, even as a child, to watch people pass while he attempted to determine things about them from their appearances. What was their life like? Why did they dress the way they did? Did they have a family? What little of his childhood the raven-haired man could vaguely recall, he knew this had always provided him with an endless source of amusement, fruitless effort though it was. It was a source of amusement and entertainment that he had only shared with Beyond Birthday.. the one person who had ever seemed to understand him.

"Ryuzaki?"

The detective turned from the window, slowly shaking himself from his thoughts. "What is it, Light-kun?" He paused, adding as an afterthought, "I thought I had left you in the bathroom.."

Light sighed and held up his arm. One cuff was clamped firmly around his wrist, the other dangling helplessly on the other end of the chain. "You seem distracted. I think it's time you got to sleep." Tired brown eyes studied the detective intently, as if attempting to discern the cause of L's odd behavior. Rather than putting up a fight, L nodded his head and followed Light back to the room they were forced to share. Light tumbled into bed, all too eager to sleep, and L followed suit, pulling the blankets up over his thin body and being sure to keep a more-than comfortable distance from Light. Within a few minutes, the suspect had fallen asleep, and L was left alone with nothing but the brunette's gentle snoring to keep him company.

_"It's all your fault!"_

_With an enraged yell, a fist connected with L's face, sending him flying backwards. He could feel the warm blood trickling down his face, but he made no move to get back to his feet, instead responding with a quiet, "I know."_

_This only seemed to further anger the younger of the two, who gave the dark-haired detective a swift kick to the ribs. Not really wanting to suffer from any broken bones, L curled into himself and turned his face away as he was bombarded with yet another round of blows from an angry BB._

_"It's all your fault that A's gone!"_

_Most of what happened blurred together after that, but L could remember the ripping sound his thin white shirt had made as it was torn from his fragile body, and the glint of the knife's blade in the light. He could recall the cold feeling of metal against his skin, followed by more warm blood gushing from the wounds, which - as he found later - formed a crude letter 'B'._

Now, the detective found himself staring up through the thick darkness at the ceiling, tracing spindly fingers over the scar he knew was there. He could feel it through the thin fabric of his baggy shirt. But he knew it was his fault. He deserved it, and that was that. Perhaps that was why he had not tried to escape the wrath of his friend that day, and simply took the beating he had (in his mind, rightfully) been given. Watari had found him shortly after the incident, and when L explained, he instructed the elderly man not to blame B. ..Maybe he had a soft spot for BB then, and he was well aware that he still did. He rolled over on his side, facing Light. Watching the brunette sleep, he could imagine, for just a fleeting moment, that it was B; and that gave him some comfort, however temporary it may have been.

Because, the truth was, he was lonely.

"...Ryuzaki, what's wrong with you?" Light's voice was groggy from sleep, and he sat up a bit, rubbing at his eyes. "You aren't yourself today."

Instead of launching into the expected, full-blown lecture of how he could not possibly be anyone but 'himself', L simply shrugged. "I suppose I am not. Now go back to sleep, Light-kun. I do not wish to hear you complain about being tired in the morning."

Grumbling to himself, Light complied and was quickly sleeping once more.

_"Now, now, Lawli, don't be like that."_

_L looked up at B through half-lidded eyes, unable to believe that the same person who had just finished beating him almost senseless was now cradling him carefully in his lap, as if the detective were a precious china doll. "..I am s-sorry, Beyond.." Why he was the one apologizing, he did not quite know._

_B reached out a hand to touch L's bruised face, smiling a bit when the elder of the two flinched. "I don't like hurting you, you know. But you made me angry... it's alright, because you've learned your lesson, haven't you?" B's smile was sickly sweet, and a slight nod from L prompted him to continue. "A wasn't fit to be your successor anyway; he was too weak, and gave in to the pressure of succeeding you."_

_Beyond's sudden mood swings were beginning to frighten L, but all he did was agree with him, not wanting to be hurt anymore than he already was.. but more importantly, not wanting to upset B again. Despite all this, he still disliked seeing the younger hurt. "Whatever you say...," was all he could manage before his dark-rimmed eyes began to flutter closed and sweet unconsciousness started engulfing him.. though not before he felt a gentle kiss on his forehead and heard a mumbled 'I love you.'_


	4. Hands are Distant Lullabies

**A/N: Sorry if it took a while to update again. I've been busy, what with classes starting up again in only two weeks. I've been doing a lot of shopping and all, and trying too spend some more time just relaxing before I can't anymore.**

**And thanks again to everyone who faved/alerted/reviewed this. It means a lot to me, and feedback is always welcome (:**

**I don't own DN, or Anberlin's 'Paperthing Hymn', which I thought of the entire time I wrote this chapter. I suggest listening to it, if you haven't already.**

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**Chapter 4: Hands Are Distant Lullabies**

Beyond was a solitary creature, he always had been.

_Oh, Lawli, you seem so tense. Would you like me to help you relax~?_

Having to be alone for the rest of his life should not have been a problem. At least, that was what the raven-haired man liked to tell himself to ease the nagging pain in his murderous heart. He missed the late nights, the warm caresses and hungry kisses, the soft sheets and loving words. A part of him longed for the affection and time that seemed to be spared only for him.

_"Beyond, what is it? You know I am busy..."_

_"Oh, but my Lawlipop is never too busy for me, is he~?"_

People regarded him as a murderer, a heartless criminal - the first of which, he was. But heartless? BB would never describe himself as such. A bit cold, perhaps, but not heartless. Because, whether anyone wanted to believe it or not, Beyond Birthday the serial killer was human. At times, B himself wished it was not true; pushing aside his personal feelings was far too tiring, and when they all came rushing back, it hurt twice as much. It was a part of what he felt had to do in order to protect himself from being hurt, much as L tended to do, locking all traces of feeling away behind that blank face.

_Soaked to the bone from the pouring rain, the young man only watched as his first successor was lowered into the ground. B's cries seemed to fall on deaf ears, and blind eyes watched unblinkingly as the pitiful scene unfolded before him._

_"You don't care, L! You don't care! How could you just stand there like that? Heartless bastard!"_

Oh, but how Beyond loved to watch that perfect porcelain mask shatter. And what he loved even more? He was the only one with the ability to break L's mask. He could turn the stoic detective to a quivering, emotional mess with the greatest of ease, and the touch of his spindly fingers against silken skin.

_"A-ah! Beyond..!"_

Did he hate L? Quite the contrary; he hated that his beloved detective would allow him to be locked away, without even so much as dropping by for a visit. Beneath the anger people thought he had kindled towards the mysterious L, there was love. Granted it was a twisted, sick kind of love, but love nonetheless.

"I wonder what my Lawli has been up to," he mused aloud, staring around the white room from his perch on the small bed. Said piece of furniture creaked a bit as he shifted his weight slightly in an attempt to be more comfortable. He had heard bits and pieces of conversation from outside his door, and over the past few months, the new thing to talk about was 'Kira'. A childish killer who, the more B heard, seemed to be quite the coward. Killing without ever showing their face... Such a shame, as far as BB was concerned. He quite enjoyed seeing the look of utter horror on his victim's face, and hearing their ear-splitting shrieks.

But that was beside the point. L, being the person B knew he was, would certainly attempt to solve this case at one point or another, if he was not working at it already. And that was what had been bothering the lonely young man with shinigami eyes. He cared not that, from what he was hearing, Kira seemed only to target criminals. It did not matter much that he, as a criminal, only had a matter of time before he fell prey to the killer as well.

_A murderer who met his death by the hands of another murderer, _B thought, suppressing a chuckle. It was only fitting, he supposed. After all, there was nothing he could do to 'atone for his sins'. It was best that he embrace death - which, at this point, already sounded better than living out his existence here in this horrid place.

But his Lawli would be targeted as well, if Kira found out that the world's greatest detective was on his trail. That was something B hoped he never lived to see. Images of the raven-haired man he grown so fond of, doubled over in pain, eyes wide as he clutched his chest, flashed through Beyond's restless mind. He would not let Kira kill his L. With a knot forming quickly in the pit of his empty stomach, B knew there was nothing he could do to protect L.

There, in the quiet loneliness of his white-walled prison, he rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes. Though he had never been a religious man, he uttered a silent prayer for his Lawli, in hopes that it would be enough to save him.


	5. Disguise

**A/N: Thanks again to all those who alerted/faved/reviewed this story. it means so much, and feedback is always welcome. (:**

**Also, I have the next chapter planned for the most part, so it should be up soon. Enjoy. ~**

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**Chapter 5: Disguise**

_"Hey, Lawli, wake up. ~"_

_The raven-haired man opened his dark-rimmed eyes slowly, gradually adjusting to the sunlight that streamed into the room through the large window's slightly parted curtains. He smiled at seeing the one who had awakened him, sitting only less than a foot away, smiling back._

_"Good morning, Beyond." L stretched his arms above his head and yawned a bit before rolling over onto his back to look up at the high ceiling. "...What time is it?"_

_There was a slight pause before B answered, "Almost eight, I think. I'm surprised you slept this late..!" BB was still smiling kindly when he scooted closer to L, ruffling the young man's hair gently and wrapping a thin arm around him._

_"I know, I am surprised as well. But it felt nice to get some rest." _

_"I imagine it did, especially after yesterday," Beyond Birthday retorted with a teasing tone and a suggestive wink. L let out a nervous chuckle, and B could have sworn the detective's pale cheeks were dusted with the slightest hint of pink._

_My lovely detective, B thought to himself, watching as the object of his affections sat up slightly and rubbed at his tired eyes. He looked like a china doll, or perhaps a ghost or a corpse: his flawless skin was like porcelain, as white as the silk sheets that pooled around his delicate body; his wild, unkempt hair was black like ink to match the dark circles that surrounded his wide, obsidian eyes; a small smile graced thin lips as he watched the world beyond the nearby window. Such a pity that others did not see this L, the one that hid from the judging eyes of others behind a carefully constructed mask. At the same time, a part of Beyond was glad, that the young man only felt he was able to show his real self around B and no one else._

_"B?"_

_"W-what is it, L?" It took a few seconds for B to shake himself from his thoughts._

_L's smile grew just a little wider and he tilted his head to one side. "You were staring at me. Is everything alright?"_

_"Everything's fine. I was just thinking about how much I love you, is all."_

"Hey, L?"

When L opened his eyes, there was no window, no gentle beams of early sunlight; no soft, comfortable bed with silken sheets and velevet pillow covers. And no Beyond Birthday. There was one bed with a slightly stiff mattress that creaked far too much, a thin pillow beneath his head, and a disgruntled-looking brunette sitting beside him.

"...What is it, Light-kun?"

"It's getting a little late, and the others will be here soon. Don't you think we should get going?"

"Yes, I suppose Light-kun is correct." A glance at the digital alarm clock Light had insisted upon proved the quick passing of time, and L slid from the bed, shivering just slightly when the air hit his bare torso.

"Are you okay?" Light was standing as well, looking as if he had been headed for the adjoining bathroom.

"Yes. ..Why would you assume that I was not?"

"L, you were shivering." Light paused to study the odd detective before shaking his head and continuing to the bathroom. "You've been acting even stranger than usual since the other day."

L sat perched on the toilet, staring at his bare feet while the sounds of running water hitting the floor of the shower filled his ears like a waterfall. Was he really acting that strangely that Light, someone who had become accustomed to his various quirks, would point out his behavior? In all honesty, he knew sooner or later Light would catch on; he was an extremely intelligent individual after all. He just missed his 'other half', so to speak. He and Beyond Birthday had been apart for quite some time, and he could only hope that his doppelganger would forgive him.

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The old, worn sneakers into which he had crammed his feet made no noise on the white tiled floor. The hallway seemed endless, doors on each side. He paid them no mind for the most part, keeping a watchful eye on the lady that led him through the maze-like building. Though L did his best to keep his mind off the Kira case, he could only wonder how Light had fared, left chained to Watari so the detective could 'take a break', as he had explained it to the agitated teenager.

"Are you really here to visit /him/?"

"Of course I am."

The woman shook her head, stopping in front of one of the doors (identical to all the others, of course) and placing her hand on the knob. "You know what he's done, don't you?"

"Yes. …I just want to see him, is all."

"Very well." With that, the door swung open, revealing a room that, beneath the fluorescent lights, appeared blindingly white. There was a small, stiff-looking bed pushed against one wall, and a damaged mirror hanging on the opposite wall. No windows, no books, nothing. In one corner, was a huddled figure clad in clothes that looked too large for his scrawny body.

"B."


	6. The Runaways

**A/N: two in one night, I'm on a roll. ~ I'll probably repost this later when I'm not half-asleep and can make it sound better. But yeah, a lot of dialogue here.**

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**Chapter 6: The Runaways**

The white metal door swung shut heavily, leaving the detective trapped in an equally white room. BB lifted his head, just enough that he could peek up at his visitor through severely un-trimmed hair. The closer L came to where he sat, the wider his smirk grew; L, on the other hand, was frowning as his cautious steps took him closer and closer to the once-untouchable Beyond Birthday. Obviously, the people here did little more than feed him and allow him shower and bathroom breaks. He desperately needed a haircut and he was so unbelievably thin.

"What brings the great L to visit a lowly criminal?" B's voice was sarcastic and rough, but L knew how much he must have been hurting.

"B...," The single letter was nothing more than a whisper left to hang in the sterile silence of this white-walled wasteland, and L found himself embracing the very person he had sworn to push away.

_"It's better this way, B. I.. I am so sorry."_

_"But-"_

_"You know this is not right." L hung his head, and B did the same, neither willing to look at the other._

_"I know."_

_"...And you know I'll love you regardless of what they tell me I have to do."_

_"I know."_

B remained stiff and unresponsive, determined to make the detective remorseful for what he had done - locking him away to rot here... though L seemed to be sorry enough without B's firm refusal to respond to this gesture. To B's shock, when L pulled away, the detective only did so to place a bony hand against B's face. If the criminal was not mistaken (and he most definitely was not, having known L longer than anyone besides Watari), L's eyes were clouding over with tears as those depthless orbs traveled over the shaggy hair, sunken eyes, pallid skin, and horrid burn wounds. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came. Beyond's resistance melted away with one look at those eyes, and he gently placed his hand on top of the detective's slightly larger one.

"...Hello, Lawlipop," was all B could manage, as he felt tears of his own beginning to form. It felt like hours as the two sat, still and quiet as if completely enraptured by each other, before a single tear slid down L's thin face. B leaned forward, gently flicking out his pink tongue and catching the drop of saline perfection before it could fall to the ground. "Don't be sad... I was angry at you, at first, and I thought I still would be.. but, I'm not angry."

L nodded, removing his hand from Beyond Birthday's face, only to pull him into another hug. "I know, B. I know." He began rocking the other back and forth, gently, like he recalled doing in days long past in order to comfort him.

"I'm not mad, L, I'm not. In fact, I still love you. ..I really do." Beyond placed a soft, hesitant kiss on the sensitive flesh of L's pale neck before adding as an afterthought, "Maybe even more than I did before."

"I know, and I still love you, as well," the detective said with a soft sigh.

"We can run away from all this, Lawli. You can get me out of here, and we could be together forever. We could live in that big house in England! We both love it there, and no one could bother us. Watari could come, too, and we wouldn't have to worry about anything!" B pulled away from the embrace just slightly, to look into the raven-haired man's eyes as he spoke to him.

"I wish we could-"

"You could get me out of here, and you know it! No one else will ahve to know that you got me out of this place! It'll be confidential and all, and then we could could get married-"

"..Married?" L interrupted, a hint of amusement in his tone.

B nodded eagerly. "Mhm. ~ We'll have a nice, big wedding, even though we don't really have anyone to invite... But then we could go on a honeymoon somewhere and relax and sightsee during the day. And then at night, we'd-"

"Even if I got you released, we could not go to England..." L said softly, holding Beyond close again, as if he were afraid the skinny man would run from him.

"...Why couldn't we?"

"..."

"It's your job, isn't it?"

L remained silent, nestling his face into the top of B's soft hair.

"You could still be a detective, and I could help you on your cases!" He stated triumphantly.

"Beyond... I am working on the Kira case."

Rather than the violent, shout-filled outburst he expected, B replied with a small laugh, "I see. I kind of figured, once I heard about this 'Kira' guy, that you would. Can't pass up a challenge, can you, L~?"

"You know me too well." L was smiling, a small, sad smile that broke Beyond Birthday's heart.

"But he'll kill you, Lawli!" B held tighter to his panda-eyed detective, thinking that keeping him in that small room would keep him safe from the murderous Kira.

"...As long as he doesn't get the chance to kill /you/."

"What..?"

"I took this case, because, at first, it interested me. But when I realized he was targeting criminals... I don't want you to die."

"Lawli...," B whimpered, trailing off and gripping the baggy white shirt tighter in his hands.

"I'll keep you safe, and when the case is solved and Kira is punished, I'll come back for you. We'll live in England, and get married, and go on a honeymoon, just like you said." A pause, then, "Alright?"

Beyond nodded, and gave L one last kiss before the detective slowly released his grip on B and stood to leave. "And, Lawli?"

"Hm?"

"Be safe."

"I will. And you be sure to behave," he said, a teasing smirk on his normally-emotionless face.

"Oh, I'll try. ~"

"...I love you, Beyond."

"I love you, too."


	7. Complaints of Violins

**A/N: Thanks so much for all those who reviewed/alerted/favorited this story. A special thanks goes to nunnythebunny, who reviewed the last chapter. Thanks so much (:**

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**Chapter 7: Complaints of Violins**

_The soft pacing of bare, calloused feet came to an abrupt halt. L turned his head, raven locks of hair swaying gently as he attempted to locate the source of the noise that had interrupted his thinking. It sounded as if someone in the normally-quiet building had turned on a radio, set to a radio station that played classical music. The soft sound of a violin floated through the walls, falling on interested ears. Determined to get to the bottom of this unusual disturbance, the skinny detective wandered through the halls, silent and unseen, much like a ghost. He stopped in front of a slightly-cracked door, the sound having gotten louder. The door swung open just a bit more, creaking softly, but not disturbing the violin player that stood in the middle of the room. His back was turned to L, but he recognized him almost immediately. The disheveled, inky black hair glistened in the pale moonlight that streamed into the room from between parted curtains, the spine that was usually forced into a slouch that mimicked that of L was straight. Thin fingers cradled the violin carefully, and the melancholy notes that it produced were soothing to the detective's restless mind. When the song had at last ended, L clapped his hands together in a round of quiet applause._

_"I had no idea you played the violin, Beyond."_

_The startled young man almost dropped the instrument, shaking off his apparent surprise as he turned to face his audience of one, dropping back into the slouch L was so accustomed to seeing. "And I had no idea you enjoyed stalking me, Lawliet." A smirk crept across his thin lips._

_"I was merely investigating the sound I heard, was all. I thought someone had perhaps turned on a radio..."_

_The two fell silent for a brief moment, and B lowered his head to stare at the ground. "...Was I good?"_

_"Excellent."_

"Ryuuzaki!"

"...Yes, Light-kun?" The panda-eyed man shifted his gaze from the screens in front of him to the annoyed teen beside him.

"I've been calling your name for five minutes! You've just been staring at that computer the entire time, like I wasn't even talking to you!"

"I apologize, Light-kun. I was just analyzing the data-"

Light gave the detective one of those are-you-serious-right-now looks before replying in a tone much like what one would use to communicate with small children, "Ryuuzaki, the screen is blank."

L's thumb found its way to his lip. "...I am sorry. My mind has not been able to focus today." He opened his mouth, as if to continue, but the presence of an elderly gentleman distracted him from his conversation.

"Ryuuzaki..."

"Yes, Watari?"

"May I speak with you?" The wrinkles on his face seemed creased even more with some unknown concern as he added, "Privately."

L nodded, reaching into his pocket for a small key, unlocking the handcuff around his wrist, and replacing the cuff around the desk before standing and following his caretaker out of the room. "What is it?"

Watari seemed almost reluctant to deliver the news which, L knew, must be anything but good. "Kira has killed another criminal."

The raven-haired detective adopted an expression even more bored than usual, pretending to be more interested in his bare feet. "Oh?"

"Yes." the old man nodded solemnly, placing a large, gentle hand on L's bony shoulder. "L..."

The detective's head snapped up to look at Watari, concern filling his normally unreadable eyes. "Watari, who was it?"

"L, I... It was Beyond. I am so sorry..."

The detective only shook his head slowly, holding back the tears stinging behind his eyes and swallowing thickly. "I am the one who should be sorry. ...I should not have given them his name. I should have thought ahead..."

"Kira is the only one to blame. L, it is no fault of yours, and you know that-"

The overwhelming emotion in L's obsidian eyes could have broken the coldest of hearts. "But I _promised_ him, Watari." L said no more, allowing his caretaker to embrace him - something he had not done since L was very young. Only mere minutes had passed before they broke apart, but it seemed to L as if everything had simply frozen in place.

"...Would you like to lie down or have some time to yourself?" Watari finally asked, concern for his young charge obvious on his weathered face.

L merely shook his head, and turned join the Yagami boy once more. "No. I have to stop Kira."


	8. Bring Me To Life

**A/N: Last chapter everyone. Thanks for everyone who read/reviewed/faved/altered this story. It means so much to me, and it was so fun to write. So, enjoy. ~ Questions, comments, anything at all? Just drop me a review or PM me. I lvoe hearing from all of you (:**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Bring Me To Life**

Days dragged on and on, and L's determination to solve the case only grew stronger. Said detective was sitting at his usual position in front of the monitors, unblinking eyes absorbing every piece of information he came in contact with. Mountains of candy wrappers, plates, and unfinished cups of cold, coffee-moistened sugar were piled around the skinny man like a fortress. He had to stay alert, by any means necessary.

_Keep working like this,_ Light smirked to himself, _and you'll burn out._

The rest of the taskforce was concerned about the world's greatest detective; the rings around his dark eyes grew darker, his narrow face became even more pale than before, and though his unyielding work ethic remained, they feared the odd man would collapse from sheer overwork. If he died or became ill, who would take his place and lead the investigation? L seemed blissfully unaware of his own deteriorating state of health, and continued giving out his orders and piecing things together. He would put Kira behind bars, if it killed him... At the moment, his own life appeared to be a suitable sacrifice to pay for the damage Kira continued to cause.

Since news of Beyond Birthday's death had reached him, L found himself watching Light closely, even when he had the handcuffs removed. He was too perfect, though that was old news. It angered the detective almost more than anything, judt to merely watch the teen go about his daily routines. There was something so terribly wrong about everything that was happening, and no one else seemed to see it; if they did, they merely dismissed it, convincing themselves of Light Yagami's innocence. Whether L wanted to admit it or not, everything going on was becoming overwhelming for his tired mind. He had tried, several times, to rest, though he could not fall into that deep sleep he knew he so desperately needed. His thoughts were consumed by the prospect of gathering enough evidence to prove that Light was Kira, and to put him - and any other Kira that may arise in addition to him - to justice, once and for all. Images of BB doubled over in pain, hands clutching at his chest, flashed through the detective's mind constantly. He had been killed, alone in that white-walled cage the world insisted he would be so much better off inside. L felt guilty; he should have been there for B, should have rescued him before it was too late.

He wondered if, behind that innocent facade, Light knew what he had done. Did the boy feel any remorse at all, or was everyone that died by his hand just another 'sacrifice' to make the world a better place? Did he think, even once, that the criminals he murdered had families and people who cared about them still? Or did he believe criminals do not deserve love?

Did he know he had destroyed the life of the only lover L had ever had? The only person the eccentric detective had ever allowed to become close to him?

_Yagami Light, do you know that I am grieving? S_ilently, he willed the teen to hear the sentence he so desperately wanted to say aloud. Because Light knew nothing of suffering; he knew nothing of the pain L could not force away, and the stinging tears that would never be permitted to fall.

* * *

L Lawliet found solace in the rain that beat down on the roof of the investigation building. He lifted his face to the cloud-laden sky and closed his eyes, wanting that cold rain to wash away all his troubles. It could never be done (L knew that all-too-well), but sometimes, just the thought was enough. He could hear the bells so clearly today.. So clearly. With a silent sigh, a crystalline tear rolled down the porcelain face and mixed with the rain, the carefully constructed mask cracking wide open.

* * *

L could not have said that his death was unexpected, because it was not. In fact, it had been looming over him for quite a while - it was only the matter of _when_. That damn pain, though, was a bit surprising. Seeing as the detective had never experienced a heart attack before, he didn't quite know what to expect. He fell from the chair, and was almost welcoming the blackness that he supposed was going to engulf him within a minute or so. L knew Light was Kira - he had had since the start, and looking up into the sepia eyes and the expression oozing with pride and false concern, only confirmed the suspicions once again. He opened his mouth with every intention of raising Yagami's Kira percentage to one-hundred percent with his dying breath, but stopped. Black was beginning to overtake his vision, and he closed his eyes.

_Huh? ...Oh, you're finally here! Lawli, Lawli. ~ Nothing can hurt you now, my Lawli! I'm here, and you'll be safe with me. I promise._


End file.
